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exception to the rule

by angel apricot

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1.
eldest child 03:32
with sunken eyes shadowed from the night before i check the mirror to see if any more hair in my reflection has greyed when my mother was as old as me she was already married in the photos her hair fell down past her bridal veil my dad has been cutting my hair ever since my relatives still tell me that i look like him he’s had a pack a day since 1986 i wish he’d quit i’ve always been late to bloom ask my 2nd grade teacher and she’ll tell you it’s true slippery steps at the bell for recess left a hell of a bump on my head as I lay down on the back seat i could tell that my mother felt so worried the doctor said “you’ll be fine just get some sleep” but somedays I can’t manage to make my bed so I focus on the small things I can do instead i bike over brown leaves on my way to work and everything passes me by in a blur and I don’t have any time to think about whats bothering me
2.
bouquet 02:51
dandelion wisps float into the air superstition grips you tight by the wrist the summer simmered out that year cookie cutter, pan sheets, wax paper, pre-heat the oven lights on the furnace still hums the weather forecast is leaving you numb newspaper ink runs off on your hands the horoscope holds your attention span novels pile up on your night-stand pages are dog-eared words are underlined another murder mystery over-due charges from the library honeybees pollinate the tulips in the yard buzzing from every flower to flower the neighbours don't mind when the band starts to play as long as it's a reasonable hour of the day scrape the frost off the windshield bring the kettle to a boil dust the crumbs off the table pack up the left-overs in cellophane and tin-foil butterfly ballet by the park bench tennis court tutus pirouette glass slippers had me tripping over my feet a case of curiosity catching up to me bouquets blustering powdered sugar dusting rain drop puddles and long silver earrings the shower curtains drawn but the faucets plugged up someone took a dive in the bathtub
3.
cherry 01:55
4.
caterpillar 02:09
i swear i don’t get nostalgic and yet here i am looking back to things as such there was an us an after and before but every tick of the clock each hand turning on my watch can’t compare to the stillness that your bare nothing seemed bleak with you or at least i think that’s true and when i say that i miss you it’s as if you were gone but you’re not you’re just further along caterpillar wrapped up in your cocoon shed your lonesome feelings soon
5.
you're the first on my mind even before the sun can peek through the blinds and you're the last thing to leave on nights when the constellations sing me to sleep but afternoons tend to over stay their welcome lonely in the living room what about you? sometimes i can't decide whether to daydream about you for hours at a time or just give you a call and tell you about every insignificant thing i can think of well telephone wire sway from side to side but i know they can reach you something about soft clouds and freshly dewed lilacs hold me to some kind of truth what about you?
6.
smile 02:59
you called me over tapped on my shoulder and guided me through that crowded room you took me outside did you read my mind? we left that ill-fitting party behind under the veil of the moons timid light my thoughts were clear for the first time i was with you you were with me and the lamppost shined so brightly alone in your company is more than suffice for every ideal that I held for my life and despite the future’s uncertainty I know that I belong to you so we stuck out our hands and we called for a cab and for that whole ride back to your apartment we glowed more than ever and the world wasn’t out there nothing existed except for us we turned on the radio once we got home and we danced even when they played a song we didn’t care for it didn’t matter we could always resolve any dissonance we turned off the lights once our hearts were content we took off clothes and brushed our teeth i slept easy with you even though I rarely sleep easily i woke up to the sound of the coffee pot dripping and I thought about saying everything I ever wanted to say to you but how I could I put it? your smile said it all
7.
rock song 03:19
blankets laid out in the guest room running out of clean clothes to change into a cold, motel shower is a luxury that we can rarely afford but at least we're not sleeping on the floor my ears are still ringing from last night's show i couldn't put my heart in a single note every chord possible in the major key every melody doesn't mean much to me waking up, dizzy as the night before counting each loonie we made from the door restaurants i can't afford make a quick trip to the grocery store another long drive with your bag on my lap i've been feeling homesick for a week and a half the rain poured down on the car without any sympathy the trans canada highway didn't care where we'd been should i look back on these moments fondly? ear plugs, and night club strangers' eyes on me the bar scene's sad when you haven't had a drink i could use some air and a moment to think another guitar string snapped another small town that i'll probably forget 15 minutes this will all be gone last song i couldn't hear myself at all how many kilometers did we travel that time? how many miles do i get to call mine? should i leave everything behind on the band stand? i'm not cut out for this
8.
little riff 00:41
9.
if i counted every feather left on my pillow case i'm sure i would misplace a quill or two along the way so i'll wait until tomorrow before sorting through this mess i'll be mother hen picking twigs for her nest i've seen you feel every emotion i can name still the nuance of your heart is too complex for my brain because my heart is much more fickle, it's either happy or it's sad take me out to the movies i will cry, and i will laugh i'm the girl doing as she's told i'm your rose coloured cheeks in the cold you're the boy with his hair combed neat that i'm pleased to meet will you please do up the zipper running up my dresses' back amongst this dimly lit apartment i'm your ball-gown princess or at least until the sunrise when i hear the rooster crow was i pretty for a moment? was i recognizable? i'm the girl doing as she's told i'm your rose coloured cheeks in the cold you're the boy with his hair combed neat that i'm pleased to meet and maybe i'm that girl waiting by the pier for something to dedicate her salty tears and maybe you're the boy wrapped up like a bow that i never had a chance to know
10.
ambulance sirens deafen to hear all the cars pull over bring the streets to a clear an emergency response a cause for concern makes me leap to conclusions and imagine the worst but you were home watching birds perched on the eavestrough turtle doves were gone when I got there but speaking of there were geese by the water lake Ontario feels as small as puddle and just as shallow oh, the closer you go well there is no greater depth than my love for you you’re the light from the stained glass window coming through candle wicks burn shorter day by day will you walk the stairs with me in that same way as those flickering flames? sitting right beside you on the balcony clothespins on the ground laundry drying my birthday will pass by sooner or later i usually don’t care but this time you’ll be there so I do
11.
guts 01:35
12.
available 03:48
i never would have guessed that i was vacant enough for anyone to come and co-exist i thought i was full to the brim and that even just ounce more and i would overflow spill out all that i had bottled up you proved wrong you proved me wrong you were where i belonged and you re-arranged everything into it’s proper place you brought the breeze in through the window and then cast it out without a shadow of a doubt at the bus shelter the wind couldn’t reach us at all but, the cold air made us shiver just like it always does you let me peer into your heart in that awkward place the bus came late but all the same it might as well have never came it was so plain so easily explained i’ve been waiting long before i had ever heard your name you are a reminder of why crickets chirp all through the night and in the amber evening’s light you are the stars waiting to be seen

about

recorded and re-recorded at underline studio b

mixed and (somewhat) mastered

distributed as "HAS001" by hop&scotch record company

credits

released July 3, 2020

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angel apricot Toronto, Ontario

live laugh love

she/lei

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