1. |
eldest child
03:32
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with sunken eyes
shadowed from the night before
i check the mirror
to see if any more hair in my reflection has greyed
when my mother
was as old as me
she was already married
in the photos
her hair fell down
past her bridal veil
my dad has been cutting my hair ever since
my relatives still tell me that i look like him
he’s had a pack a day since 1986
i wish he’d quit
i’ve always
been late to bloom
ask my 2nd grade teacher and she’ll tell you it’s true
slippery steps at the bell for recess
left a hell of a bump on my head
as I lay down
on the back seat
i could tell that my mother felt so worried
the doctor said “you’ll be fine
just get some sleep”
but somedays I can’t manage to make my bed
so I focus on the small things I can do instead
i bike over brown leaves on my way to work
and everything passes me by in a blur
and I don’t have any time to think
about whats bothering me
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2. |
bouquet
02:51
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dandelion wisps float into the air
superstition grips you tight by the wrist
the summer simmered out that year
cookie cutter, pan sheets,
wax paper, pre-heat
the oven lights on
the furnace still hums
the weather forecast is leaving you numb
newspaper ink runs off on your hands
the horoscope holds your attention span
novels pile up on your night-stand
pages are dog-eared
words are underlined
another murder mystery
over-due charges from the library
honeybees pollinate the tulips in the yard
buzzing from every flower to flower
the neighbours don't mind when the band starts to play
as long as it's a reasonable hour of the day
scrape the frost off the windshield
bring the kettle to a boil
dust the crumbs off the table
pack up the left-overs in cellophane
and tin-foil
butterfly ballet by the park bench
tennis court tutus pirouette
glass slippers had me tripping over my feet
a case of curiosity catching up to me
bouquets blustering
powdered sugar dusting
rain drop puddles and
long silver earrings
the shower curtains drawn but the faucets plugged up
someone took a dive in the bathtub
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3. |
cherry
01:55
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4. |
caterpillar
02:09
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i swear
i don’t get nostalgic
and yet here i am
looking back
to things as such
there was an us
an after
and before
but every tick of the clock
each hand turning on my watch
can’t compare
to the stillness that your bare
nothing seemed bleak with you
or at least i think that’s true
and when i say
that i miss you
it’s as if you were gone
but you’re not
you’re just further along
caterpillar
wrapped up in your cocoon
shed your lonesome feelings
soon
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5. |
what about you?
02:52
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you're the first on my mind
even before the sun can peek through the blinds
and you're the last thing to leave on nights when the constellations
sing me to sleep
but afternoons tend to over stay their welcome
lonely in the living room
what about you?
sometimes i can't decide
whether to daydream about you for hours at a time
or just give you a call and tell you about
every insignificant thing i can think of
well telephone wire sway from side to side
but i know they can reach you
something about soft clouds and freshly dewed lilacs
hold me to some kind of truth
what about you?
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6. |
smile
02:59
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you called me over
tapped on my shoulder and
guided me through that crowded room
you took me outside
did you read my mind?
we left that ill-fitting party behind
under the veil of the moons timid light
my thoughts were clear for the first time
i was with you
you were with me
and the lamppost shined so brightly
alone in your company is more than suffice
for every ideal that I held for my life
and despite the future’s uncertainty
I know that I belong to you
so we stuck out our hands
and we called for a cab
and for that whole ride back to your apartment
we glowed more than ever
and the world wasn’t out there
nothing existed except for us
we turned on the radio once we got home
and we danced even when they played a song
we didn’t care for
it didn’t matter
we could always resolve any dissonance
we turned off the lights once our hearts were content
we took off clothes and brushed our teeth
i slept easy with you
even though I rarely sleep easily
i woke up to the sound of the coffee pot dripping
and I thought about saying everything I ever wanted
to say to you
but how I could I put it?
your smile said it all
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7. |
rock song
03:19
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blankets laid out in the guest room
running out of clean clothes to change into
a cold, motel shower is a luxury that we
can rarely afford
but at least
we're not sleeping on the floor
my ears are still ringing from last night's show
i couldn't put my heart in a single note
every chord possible in the major key
every melody
doesn't mean much to me
waking up, dizzy as the night before
counting each loonie we made from the door
restaurants i can't afford
make a quick trip to the grocery store
another long drive with your bag on my lap
i've been feeling homesick for a week and a half
the rain poured down on the car
without any sympathy
the trans canada highway
didn't care where we'd been
should i look back on these moments fondly?
ear plugs, and night club strangers' eyes on me
the bar scene's sad when you haven't had a drink
i could use some air and a moment to think
another guitar string snapped
another small town that i'll probably forget
15 minutes this will all be gone
last song i couldn't hear myself at all
how many kilometers did we travel that time?
how many miles do i get to call mine?
should i leave everything behind on the band stand?
i'm not cut out for this
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8. |
little riff
00:41
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9. |
pleased to meet you
04:25
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if i counted every feather left on my pillow case
i'm sure i would misplace a quill or two along the way
so i'll wait until tomorrow before sorting through this mess
i'll be mother hen picking twigs for her nest
i've seen you feel every emotion i can name
still the nuance of your heart is too complex for my brain
because my heart is much more fickle, it's either happy or it's sad
take me out to the movies i will cry, and i will laugh
i'm the girl doing as she's told
i'm your rose coloured cheeks in the cold
you're the boy with his hair combed neat
that i'm pleased to meet
will you please do up the zipper running up my dresses' back
amongst this dimly lit apartment i'm your ball-gown princess
or at least until the sunrise when i hear the rooster crow
was i pretty for a moment? was i recognizable?
i'm the girl doing as she's told
i'm your rose coloured cheeks in the cold
you're the boy with his hair combed neat
that i'm pleased to meet
and maybe i'm that girl waiting by the pier
for something to dedicate her salty tears
and maybe you're the boy wrapped up like a bow
that i never had a chance to know
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10. |
cause for concern
03:36
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ambulance sirens
deafen to hear
all the cars pull over
bring the streets to a clear
an emergency response
a cause for concern
makes me leap to conclusions
and imagine the worst
but you were home watching birds
perched on the eavestrough
turtle doves
were gone when I got there
but speaking of
there were geese by the water
lake Ontario
feels as small as puddle
and just as shallow
oh, the closer you go
well there is no greater depth
than my love for you
you’re the light from the stained glass
window coming through
candle wicks burn shorter
day by day
will you walk the stairs with me
in that same way
as those flickering flames?
sitting right beside you
on the balcony
clothespins on the ground
laundry drying
my birthday will pass by
sooner or later
i usually don’t care
but this time you’ll be there
so I do
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11. |
guts
01:35
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12. |
available
03:48
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i never would have guessed
that i was vacant enough for anyone
to come and co-exist
i thought i was full to the brim
and that even just ounce
more and i would overflow
spill out all that i had bottled up
you proved wrong
you proved me wrong
you were where i belonged
and you re-arranged everything into it’s proper place
you brought the breeze in through the window
and then cast it out
without a shadow of a doubt
at the bus shelter the wind
couldn’t reach us at all
but, the cold air made us shiver
just like it always does
you let me peer into your heart
in that awkward place
the bus came late
but all the same
it might as well
have never came
it was so plain
so easily explained
i’ve been waiting long before
i had ever heard your name
you are a reminder of why
crickets chirp all through the night
and in the amber evening’s light
you are the stars waiting to be seen
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